Learn how to be alone
Learning to be alone is a powerful tool of survival that can guide you through tough times and can make you grow as a person.
In general, there are two categories of people; the ones that have to be around people almost all the time and the ones that want to be away from people most of the time. Usually you would define the former as the extroverts and the latter as the introverts. Personally, I kind of disagree with this. You see I am an introvert but I do enjoy spending time with people. With one main criteria — they are the right people, people that I can connect with, people that are worth my time. I don’t enjoy chit chat, I don’t enjoy fake, superficial chats. Even though they are a necessity in a largely growing superficial and fake world. I’d rather be alone than spend my time with people without real fulfilment.
Living in Barcelona, Spain, we had to accept the new reality of the Coronavirus, and the also accept the harsh lockdown that started around six weeks ago. For me it was a spark of sudden relief, mainly because I’ve been extremely paranoid since early two thousand twenty when the virus started spreading in China. Up until recently I have been immensely enjoying my time alone, locked up in my apartment. I have turned back to interesting activities, I read, I write, I draw. Of course, it started to take its toll on me, but it’s natural (introvert or not) since these moments are extraordinary and uncertain.
The fact is, as a person who can enjoy isolation, I’m one of the exceptions. A personal acquaintance went to panic mode within a few days of the lockdown. During that time, I’ve heard things like, “Oh my God, I’m gonna lose my mind”, “I need to be with people”, “I can’t be alone”, “How long is this gonna last”, and the list goes on and on. That’s when I realised that, being an introvert is more normal than this.
There’s a general prejudice that a number of extroverts (or according to them; the normal people) have against introverts. They believe it’s abnormal, or even in some cases, it might relate to psychological issues. We are seen as the weird people who like to be alone. On the other hand, if you look at a person who constantly wants to be around other people, that’s when you realise that this is actually the abnormality. In most cases, this type of characters need to be around people to feel safe, important and keep their mind busy. It’s like a mental addiction, the addiction of attention from other people. As soon as they end up spending some time alone, that’s when they realise they have no depth to be able to enjoy time alone.
If you don’t know how to survive alone, or just enjoy your time with yourself, then you are in a weak spot my friend. It probably means you will not be able to deal with getting dumped, relaxing, listening to your thoughts, learning new traits, appreciating you, or even dealing with an extraordinary, unexpected lockdown.
Learning to be alone, will provide you with the ability to expand and grow as a person. You will have time to live by your own rules, to do the things you love to do, to have your own independent way of thinking. It will give you the time to learn new skills, to learn what you don’t like and what you do like. It will make you appreciate your self and prepare you for moments of hardship. There’s an inevitable truth, most of us, married or not, we will end up dying alone. Who will prepare you for that?
In addition, when you know how to be happy alone, then you will not be looking for a partner because you are unhappy and you need someone to fill that gap. This is one of my personal, biggest mistakes. I will reiterate, you need to learn how to be happy alone before you are happy with someone else. If you actually expect that happiness will only come from another person, a girlfriend or a boyfriend, a wife or a husband, I predict there’s a high probability that it will not happen. First of all, you will seem needy to your possible suitors, second, the longer you are alone, the more unhappy you will be, and it will become a vicious endless circle.
Learn how to be alone because:
- You will learn to appreciate and love your self
- You will not depend on other people to be happy
- You will prepare for hardships
- You will learn to listen to your thoughts
- You will have the time to spend for your self, learn new skills and grow
- You will love your self more so that other people can love you too
- You will not go into panic mode (you will have learned both being alone and being with other people)
In conclusion, try to stop thinking that it’s the end of the world being alone. It is not. If you are in one of the many countries now that has restrictions in movements and you are panicking; stop panicking. Enjoy this previous time alone and take advantage of it. Read a book, write, draw, mediate, cook. There’s so many thinks you can do for yourself.